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EP1

by shapey

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1.
not around 05:26
i just wanna see you smile you only do it when i’m not around i just wanna make you happy you’re only happy when i’m not around i just wanna give you the world you only want it if i’m not around i just wanna satisfy you you’re satisfied when i’m not around you’re only happy when i’m not around but in the early hours of morning i get all these calls saying you want somebody, need somebody someone cut the strings off my back i need to get out, i need to talk to somebody need somebody i’d just cut the strings off myself but i’m never good at saying bye i just wanna be there for you but you forget it when i’m not around i just waste all my time for you but you don’t care unless i’m not around you’re only happy when i’m not around but in the early hours of morning i get all these calls saying you want somebody, need somebody someone cut the strings off my back i need to get out, i need to talk to somebody need somebody i’d just cut the strings off myself but i’m never good at saying bye i just wanna say i’m going but you would like that since i’m not around i just wish i’d make you happy you’re only happy when i’m not around
2.
idfah 04:54
i don’t feel at home in this world i don’t feel at home in my skin maybe once i finally give up maybe that’s when life will begin might as well just wait for a sign but i’m tired of waiting for nothing all day i wait and sit thinking about how this is killing me might as well make peace with nothing cause how is nothing really hurting if time says stick around then why not just do it for the sake of those around me i don’t feel at home in this world i don’t feel at home in my skin maybe once i finally give up maybe that’s when life will begin
3.
i need answers why when i call you don't answer i think you the one like a dancer i just threw some ones on a dancer and you know you ain't got no manners why when i call you don't answer i need answers why when i call you don't answer i need answers why would i call you don't answer pick up the phone baby answer pick up the phone baby answer pick up the phone baby answer why when i call you don't answer
4.
ride it out 03:30
i meant to call you i just haven't been myself lately there's nothing to talk to what's the point of talking anyways i'm in my own room it's my little space no one can come and see i shoulda told you isolation ain't so bad for me i don't want you here to ride it out you'd just pump my head up full of doubt i don't need you here to ride it out there's nothing you need to cry about i know we'll talk soon but we just don't know when that'll be nothing to run to time's the reason i am aching nothing feels new it won't stop being overwhelming for now i'll forget you while we're stuck in purgatory i don't want you here to ride it out you'd just pump my head up full of doubt i don't need you here to ride it out there's nothing you need to cry about
5.
over 03:44
haven’t got out of bed all day haven’t found a reason when everything is burning away need to get out of my own head but it’s hard when everything’s fueled by existential dread haven’t got anything to say haven’t found an excuse to forget that we’re disappearing need some help just to feel alive but it’s hard when you’re scared to leave your place and pretend you’re fine say the word and i will come for you say the word and i will comfort you but not till this is over haven’t got a reason to pray haven’t found the reason when you know this will all die one day need to get out of my own shell but it’s hard when you think no matter what it won’t turn out well say the word and i will come for you say the word and i will comfort you but not till this is over (and god knows when this is over)

about

written, produced, and recorded in maryland
during quarantine, april - september 2020

"not around" samples audio from Julien Donkey-Boy (1999), dir. Harmony Korine. this audio does not belong to me.

credits

released December 13, 2020

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all rights reserved

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about

shapey Richmond, Virginia

fka wc

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